Cold Flame
by Gay Jesus Probably
Summary: Saix is worried about Axel. Ever since he became the Organization's second in command, Axel has been different. Almost like another person. Not helped by his eyes suddenly being the wrong colour. Or, an AU where Axel gets Norted instead of Saix, and neither of them are having a good time.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi guys this is the result of me scrolling the Axel tag on tumblr at unholy hours in the morning, stumbling across someone musing on an AU where Axel is the one to get Norted instead of Saix, leading to a sort of role reversal, so I'd just like to say damn ClaireFireDragon to hell because here the fuck I am, writing this instead of I don't know SLEEPING. OR WORKING ON MY OTHER BEHEMOTH PROJECTS. MANY THINGS. THAT I COULD BE DOING. THAT I AM NOT DOING. HERE I AM, WRITING A NEW AU.**

 **Anyways so here's a day in the life of non-possessed Saix, pre KH1. There's a few years to go until that. Axel is the second in command of the Org, and Saix is just a normal lackey, albeit one whose in good with the boss. Axel's still got his Axel-y personality, just with all the unpleasant aspects magnified, and the good parts downsized. The same goes for Saix in reverse, as he's still more quiet and stoic, but considerably less of a prick, due to not being possessed, and not having the constant stress of basically herding cats every day. He mostly stays in his own lane.**

 **The parts in italics are flashbacks on Saix's end, of how the younger Axel ended up being promoted, and the early stages of his possession. He refers to their younger selves as Lea and Isa, with my headcanon having been them holding on to their old names (at least between each other) until after Saix was too far gone into his possession to care, leading to Axel also giving up. Here, that's obviously reversed. There's also my headcanons regarding what exactly the fuck Axel and Saix were plotting together, as they were very obviously up to something, and had been for a very long time, even if it didn't really go anywhere.**

* * *

Cold Flame

 _They had decided early on that one of them would have to work their way through the ranks of the Organization. One of them to have the power, and draw the attention of the others, and one of them to quietly support the other from beneath._

 _There had been many long nights of debate over who would play what role, and endless lists of pros and cons. Finally, they had settled on Lea working to become the second in command; albeit mostly due to him putting his foot down, and declaring that really, he was the manipulator out of the two of them. Which, to be fair, was accurate. Isa was more studious, but Lea was a natural liar and plotter. And now without a heart to get bored and distracted with, his work ethic could rival Isa's if he felt so inclined._

 _So Lea would work to be second in command, and from there they would have the leverage to get exactly what they wanted._

 _It had taken a few years. Lea didn't exactly give off the impression of responsibility, and Xemnas wasn't about to promote a dumbass fifteen year old. But as time went by, and Lea started casually taking over more and more responsibilities from the others, Xemnas noticed._

 _And when Isa and Lea were nineteen, he had acted._

* * *

Saix was jolted awake by his alarm going off. For a moment, he was frozen, waiting for a wave of melancholy and grief to hit him, and instead finding only emptiness. But the moment soon passed, and he sighed into his pillow.

He didn't dream often, but he especially hated dreaming about that.

In his personal opinion, any time before noon was a deeply offensive time to have to wake up. He'd never been much of a morning person back when he'd been… well, a person. Losing his heart and gaining a powerful moon affinity had not helped in the slightest.

But slacking wasn't acceptable, so he dragged himself out of bed, and turned off his alarm. And also turned off all his other alarms, which were set to go off at five minute intervals for the next hour.

Saix _really_ wasn't a morning person, and he'd long since learned that he was very capable of sleeping past his alarm. After the second time Axel had physically dragged him out of bed in the morning, he'd started taking extreme measures.

Still half asleep, he staggered to the bathroom, and into the seventh area. Half an hour later, he was showered and dressed for the day, as well as feeling considerably more alive.

The kitchen was fairly quiet, the only ones in there being Luxord, Demyx and Zexion. Luxord and Zexion were usually quiet in most situations, and Demyx, who was also not a morning person, seemed to be attempting to merge with the table, while still consuming a bowl of oatmeal.

Saix wasn't in the mood for cooking, so he instead he took a container of leftover pizza. Unlike most of the other leftovers in the fridge, the rightful owner hadn't thought to mark the container with threats of grievous bodily harm to whoever took it, making it fair game.

He considered joining the other three at the table, but decided against it. Instead, he backtracked to the cupboards, grabbed a protein bar, and headed for the Grey Area.

Sure enough, Axel was in there, sprawled out on one of the couches with his feet up on the coffee table. There were two clipboards left on the cushion beside him, and third was in his hands, one he was reading through intently, pen in hand.

He looked up at Saix's entrance and grinned, the expression sharp, and without any hint of affection behind it.

"Morning Saix. Getting up on your own today?"

He rolled his eyes, and sat down beside Axel.

"That only happened twice. Have you eaten yet today?"

Now it was Axel's turn to roll his eyes, and let out an irritated sigh.

"Yes mother, I had a bagel for breakfast. You know, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to harass your boss about his eating habits. Insubordination, is what this is."

Despite the token protest, he still took the protein bar that Saix handed over, the argument being an old one between the two of them. Ever since Axel's promotion (and whatever the hell Xemnas and Xigbar had done to him that night to make his eyes change colour), he had a tendency to skip meals, or eat less than he should have. Saix ensuring that his friend ate at least two meals a day was not new.

"I think letting you collapse of malnutrition would be insubordination, actually."

Axel snorted.

"Sure, sure. Anyways, sweet Kingdom fucking Hearts, I don't care how big the new guys scythe is, if he doesn't start writing better mission reports, I'm going to shove a chakram somewhere highly unpleasant on his anatomy. I mean really 'Located Heartless and eliminated target'? That's all that happened over a span of five hours? Fuck you. Demyx writes better reports than this. _Demyx_." Axel bitched, glaring at the paper in front of him, clearly wishing he could set it on fire. Instead, he settled for scribbling what was likely some vicious commentary, and flipping to the next report.

"Didn't you have to set Demyx on fire just to get him to write reports at all?"

"I mean… yeah. But now he writes acceptable reports, so it was worth it."

"Because he's terrified of you."

"Eh. Fear is a good motivator. I fail to see a downside. Yeah, if Marluxia doesn't get his shit together soon, I'm going to give him the Demyx treatment. Make an evening out of it. Might be relaxing, actually."

As Axel mused, Saix considered moving a bit further away on the couch. It was… disturbing, when Axel got like this. He never cared when Saix called him out on his increasingly unnerving methods, and always had some form of cold logic to justify his actions. Conversations like that always left Saix vaguely frustrated and worried, so it was better to just change the subject, and hope Axel went along with it.

"Are you doing anything after work today?"

"Not really, just paperwork. The usual. Why, you have plans?"

Saix gave him a strange look.

"Axel, you're twenty four today."

A rare surprised look came over Axel's face.

"Oh, right. Is that today? Well, I can't celebrate tonight, I'm super behind. We'll do something later, alright? Besides, it's not like the day actually means anything to us."

Saix frowned, but let the matter drop. Axel had said the same thing last year, and they'd never ended up doing anything.

Any sort of holiday was banned within the Organization, but that didn't stop the members who cared from having quiet celebrations on their own. When they'd first lost their hearts, Axel and Saix had fallen into a habit of doing something after work for their birthdays, and spending the solstices in each others rooms, having quiet celebrations. Said celebrations usually boiled down to exchanging presents, and spending the winter solstice hanging out in Saix's room with some candles burning, and spending the summer solstice in Axel's room with some smuggled plants briefly living on the windowsill.

They hadn't done that for years now.

They ate in silence, until Saix finished his breakfast, and left again. He dropped the empty container on top of the dishwasher, and returned to the bathroom to finish drying his hair, and doing the minimal styling he preferred.

When he returned to the Grey Area, Axel had gotten up, and was standing at the front of the room, holding one of his clipboards, the other two having presumably been returned to his room with the rest of his files. He was speaking with Xaldin, and as Saix entered, handed over a mission brief, which the other man scanned over, and then left through a dark corridor.

Axel was all business now, and already had another mission brief in hand, this one being handed over to Saix.

"There's a giant Heartless in Twilight Town. If I were you, I'd stock up on blizzard spells before going in, alright? Kick ass and take names. Also, Demyx is going with you. _Don't_ let him slack off." Axel instructed, clapping him on the shoulder, and handing over the mission brief. It gave about the same information as Axel's explanation had, albeit in more official wording, and more detail. Saix moved back to sit on one of the couches, and wait for Demyx while re-arranging his panels.

Several other members came and went while he waited, before finally, Demyx wandered into the Grey Area, looking slightly more awake than he had at breakfast.

"Hey, you're with Saix today. Giant heartless. Don't fuck it up." Axel ordered sharply, handing over Demyx's copy of the briefing with a sharp look. Demyx winced, took the paper, and quickly retreated to join Saix at the couch.

"I'm ready to go if you are." He said, guessing the blond man would rather not be around longer than necessary.

Demyx gave a quick glance at the mission brief, before nodding hurriedly.

"Yeah, let's go."

Saix summoned a dark corridor, and they both entered.

As soon as they were in the corridor, Demyx shivered.

"Man, I don't know how you're friends with him. He's so… creepy."

Saix shrugged, unable to argue the point.

"We joined the Organization together. He's not that bad."

"Not for you, maybe. He set me on fire! I still have the scars!"

Saix couldn't think of an argument against that that wasn't either stupid, incredibly rude, or both, so he elected for an awkward shrug, and stayed quiet.

Demyx huffed in annoyance at the non-response, and didn't say anything else until they emerged into the perpetual sunset of Twilight Town.

"Sooo, giant heartless, giant heartless… If I were a giant heartless, where would I be?"

"Somewhere with room to maneouver? Let's check the larger areas first."

"Sounds good to me."

Naturally, the giant heartless was not co-operating. They ended up searching the entire town twice, until finally, finally, the damn Tailbunker decided to show up by swooping down on them in the Sandlot.

Needless to say, at that point neither Nobody was overly thrilled with it, and they eliminated the target with extreme prejudice.

"Well, I guess that mission sure flew by." Demyx said cheerfully. The grin on his face made it clear that he knew exactly what sort of pun he was making.

Saix closed his eyes, and sighed.

He _hated_ working with Demyx.

* * *

 _They had noticed the new attention on Lea, and how he was being assigned increasingly complicated missions. Isa and Lea had taken it as a good sign, proof that their plan was working. That they were finally getting somewhere_

 _When Lea was called to meet with Xemnas and Xigbar one day after work, they'd been thrilled. Sure, the message didn't openly say that Lea was being promoted, but they could read between the lines. Lea had left for the meeting with an air of confidence around him._

 _That night, Isa fell asleep in Lea's room, waiting for him to return._

 _He didn't._

 _Lea was missing the next day. When Isa confronted Xigbar about it, the older man had only grinned, and ruffled Isa's hair, claiming that Axel was just getting a full run-down on his new job, and all the complications that it entailed. Isa had been suspicious, but reluctantly left for his mission that day._

 _When he came back, he immediately checked Lea's room. To his relief, Lea was in his bed, coat, boots and gloves discarded on the floor, and face buried in his pillows._

 _Isa had gone to shake Lea, to find out exactly what had happened, and why he had been gone for so long. He was slow to react, and when he did finally sit up, Isa flinched back in surprise._

 _Lea's chest was bleeding sluggishly, the X shaped wound clearly having been caused a while ago, and left untreated since. And more disturbingly, his eyes had changed, the green having turned to gold, and the look in them was flat and empty. Like he had died._

 _Lea had refused to explain what had happened, eventually shutting down completely and refusing to respond any more._

 _The next day he was announced as Xemnas's new right hand._

* * *

Mission reports really weren't as bad as the rest of the Organization seemed to find them.

All it really meant was giving a detailed description of what had happened on the mission, and anything relevant they might have noticed. Today, that meant describing the Tailbunker's unusual behaviour, and the signs of an approaching Shadow Glob infestation that Saix had noticed. Summarizing it took about fifteen minutes, and soon enough he was handing over his report to a pleased Axel.

After that, the evening was his own.

He decided against returning to Twilight Town for ice cream. He'd spent enough time there today, and honestly, there wasn't really a point. Him and Axel had gone for ice cream on top of the clocktower after work every day at first, but after Axel's promotion, he'd taken to skipping it more and more, before he'd stopped showing up completely. There wasn't much point in eating ice cream alone up there, so Saix had given up on it as well.

So instead, he retreated to the castle's library.

Unsurprisingly, Zexion was there as well, and the two nodded greetings at each other. Reading was still a pastime Saix enjoyed, even if he didn't have nearly as much spare time as he would have liked to pursue it. The castle's library was well stocked, and it didn't take long to find something that looked interesting and take it back to his room.

He read for a while, until it was starting to get late, around seven at night, and he was feeling hungry.

Axel was usually done with the days mission reports by now.

Saix put his book aside, got up, and went to Axel's room.

The Assassin's standing guard let him through without protest, as usual. Axel was sitting at his desk, scowling at his laptop as he typed rapidly on it.

"Knock, asshole." Axel said idly, not bothering to look up.

"I'm guessing you haven't had dinner yet."

"Dinner? But it's only – oh, it's seven."

"Taking that as a no. Come on, you need a break. Let's go get pizza or something."

Axel raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously? No. I'll have a sandwich or something in a minute, I need to get this finished first. Bye."

Saix frowned.

"Axel, it's your birthday. You shouldn't work yourself so hard."

Axel's typing paused, and he closed his eyes for a moment, clearly searching for patience.

"Saix. Birthdays mean nothing to us. _Everything_ means nothing to us. I don't care about holidays. I don't care about celebrating. I don't care about hanging out. Stop pretending that any of this is important. The only thing that matters is getting our hearts back, and this stupid shit is only slowing us down. Get your shit together. Got it memorized?"

Saix was frozen for a long moment, lost for words. Axel didn't bother giving him time to reply, turning back to his computer, and waving a dismissive hand in Saix's direction. Almost immediately, he was grabbed by two Assassin's, and unceremoniously forced out of the room.

He stared helplessly at the eighth portal, before finally giving up, and walking away.

* * *

 _Axel slowly stopped answering to Lea, and kept referring to Isa as Saix, even when they were in private. More and more, Lea slipped away._

 _Axel's personality began shift as well, becoming something cold and vicious, covered up with fake grins, and seeming levity._

 _He was faster to resort to violence to solve problems, and had a wider definition of what qualified as a problem. Demyx's habit of slacking led to Axel flat out attacking him, leaving the other Nobody with horrible burns on his side. He stopped spending time with Saix, treating him as more of a tool than a friend, and withdrawing from the others. He developed disturbingly sadistic tendencies, ones that he definitely hadn't had as a Somebody. Some days it felt like Axel had been taken over by an entirely different person._

 _Axel also stopped taking care of himself, often forgoing sleep and food unless Saix stepped in and ensured he looked after himself. Axel didn't even pretend to be grateful when he did, apart from not giving anything beyond a token protest._

 _And through it all, all Saix could do was helplessly watch his oldest friend spiral._

* * *

Saix was woken up by someone else entering his room. The lack of reaction or warning from his Berserkers made it obvious who it was.

His clock said it was two in the morning.

Saix groaned into his pillow.

This had better be good.

"Saix? I'm sorry. About earlier. I don't know why I said all that." Axel said, voice quiet, but clearly upset.

Saix sighed.

He never knew how to handle moments like these. When Lea would shine through for a while, and be horrified by his actions, usually after he'd done something to hurt Saix. Normally, Saix would try to still be angry about it, or hold something of a grudge. To not let a single apology wipe away years of problems.

But right now, Saix was tired, and Axel was sorry, and that was good enough for him.

"C'mere." He muttered, rolling over and lifting his blanket.

Axel didn't say a word, but climbed into bed, burying his face in Saix's chest. Saix wrapped an arm around him, and closed his eyes again.

In the morning, Axel would be gone. He'd be in the Grey Area, handing out missions, and would treat Saix like every other member. He would be cold, violent, and sadistic, and do it all with a fake grin on his face.

But right now, in the dark of his room, Saix couldn't see Axel's eyes, golden and empty. He couldn't see the scar on his chest, branded right above where his heart should be. He couldn't tell how warped and wrong Axel had become.

For once, he could fall asleep with Axel in his arms.

And he did.

* * *

 **AN: So, that last bit can be read as platonic bed sharing, or romantic bed sharing, I can go either way. It's definitely not sexual bed sharing though, and you should really not read it like that. The context is that Axel is having a rare moment of lucidity, realising that something is very deeply wrong with him, and seeking comfort.**

 **Does Axel know he's possessed? I don't think so. Considering Saix's death lines in KH2, he legitimately believed he was fighting to get his heart back. He knew something was different about him, sure, but not what. And the control Xehanort would have had over him would be enough to stop him from trying to get answers, or help. Same goes for Axel here – he legitimately believes working for Xemnas will get his heart back. In his lucid moments, he knows that something is very wrong with him, but Xehanort's still there enough to stop him from explaining his situation, or trying to do anything about it. All Axel's really able to do with it is try to make amends with Saix, and/or try to get comfort from him.**

 **Axel's in a bad place, is my point.**

 **This AU has consumed me, so I'll probably write more about this. Maybe a real story, or maybe just more one-shots, I don't know. We'll see.**

 **And again, I advise everyone go to ClaireFireDragon on Tumblr, because DAMN THEM FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THIS AU.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I CANNOT. GET THIS AU. OUT OF MY HEAD. IT WILL NOT LEAVE. IT WILL NOT LEAVE. OH MY GOD.**

 **So yeah here's Axel's POV on chapter 1 because this is MY FUCKING LIFE NOW APPARENTLY.**

 **This fanfiction is brought to you by the new Fall Out Boy album Mania, which I have been listening to on repeat for this entire writing experience. I would advise everyone to listen to it as well. My favourite track is Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea, it's such a fucking bop oh my god.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Isa had wanted to be the one to do it, but Lea had put his foot down. Really, they were both about as smart as each other, even if Isa had been the one with the drive and the focus to do better in school. Lea was just a clever, and at the end of the day, twice as tricky. Besides, with Isa's new moon-induced sleep issues, plus his occasionally berserk temper, Lea was the best option._

 _So Lea it was._

 _It had taken a few years, working his way into the good graces of the six founders (murders more like, oh he couldn't hate them anymore, but he was as close as possible). He took over post-mission paperwork from Vexen, leaving him more time for his experiments, began making suggestions of his own, and by the time Xemnas became interested in Lea taking the work in official capacity, he was already handling mission organizing by himself._

* * *

His alarm went off at five in the morning, and he was quick to turn it off again, the shrill beeping irritating his ears. For a moment, he let himself lie in bed, sleep deprivation heavy in his bones (how late had he been up doing paperwork? Until midnight, at least), and sleep begging to reclaim him.

But there was work to do, so he grunted, and sat up. With an absent flick of his wrist, the many candles placed around the room lit themselves, and he stumbled over to his desk.

It was a quick check to make sure that the days missions were all prepared (they were), and then he was off to the shower. As always, the bathroom was empty, considering he would be the only one up for at least an hour, usually more.

He went quickly through the shower, and soon enough was applying his eyeliner, and then styling his hair.

Axel didn't like taking longer than he had to in front of the mirror. While he had long since grown used to it, he disliked his scar, the X mark meeting over where his heart would be, and curling across a fair amount of his chest. Wounds like that shouldn't have left scars – between potions and magic, only major injuries left scars. But his chest had been left untreated for over a day before he could have done anything about it, and once he was able to, it wasn't worth the effort. He'd left it to heal the slow way, and as a result the X was there permanently, sitting on his chest like a brand.

He didn't like it.

(he didn't know why he'd left it to scar, but he didn't know why he did most things these days)

After he was dressed, he detoured through the kitchen, and reluctantly grabbed a bagel, even though the idea of eating in the morning usually made him vaguely nauseous. But Saix would bitch if he didn't eat something, so he reluctantly ate it while looking over his reports for the morning, and mentally writing out what to say during his morning meeting with Lord Xemnas.

When he was done that, he got up, and headed for Lord Xemnas's door. It took a moment for the Sorcerer on guard duty to fetch him from where he was probably staring intently at where Kingdom Hearts would appear, and Axel resisted the urge to sigh in annoyance. Or demand that the Superior start doing some of the paperwork. Both would be met poorly.

The meeting went normally, and the Superior didn't have any extra tasks for Axel today, so he returned to his room, and collected three clipboards worth of files. Missions for today, the mission reports from yesterday, and his notes on the relevant worlds that had made him decide the missions in question. None of the reports from the day before had highlighted anything, so he'd put them aside for the morning.

He spent a while working through them until he reached Marluxia's idea of a mission report.

' _Located Heartless, eliminated target.'_

That was it. That was his entire report.

Marluxia's mission had taken _five hours_.

He was writing some harsh suggestions of what to do with Marluxia's lackluster reports, when someone entered the Grey Area. Axel looked up on reflex, fully prepared to corridor his notes away if it was one of the less trustworthy members, but plastered on a grin at the sight of Saix, looking tired and grumpy as always, and carrying cold pizza, and a protein bar.

"Morning Saix. Getting up on your own today?"

He rolled his eyes, and sat down beside Axel, a faint scowl on his face at the reminder of the times Axel had to drag him out of bed.

"That only happened twice. Have you eaten yet today?"

The question was enough to make the grin drop from his face, and he rolled his eyes. Admittedly, it was probably a good thing Saix was around to worry about Axel's heath, because he sure as hell wasn't doing that for himself. What was the point? He was still as alive as he ever was. Why pretend to care beyond that?

But Saix got on his ass if he explained his philosophy of not caring, so the path of least resistance was to put up with it.

"Yes mother, I had a bagel for breakfast. You know, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to harass your boss about his eating habits. Insubordination, is what this is." Axel said. Unsurprisingly, Saix still looked displeased, and handed over the protein bar, which Axel took.

"I think letting you collapse of malnutrition would be insubordination, actually."

Axel snorted. Like that was going to happen. He knew his limits. He just… didn't care enough to go beyond bare minimum. He wasn't going to collapse.

(it wouldn't let him)

"Sure, sure. Anyways, sweet Kingdom fucking Hearts, I don't care how big the new guys scythe is, if he doesn't start writing better mission reports, I'm going to shove a chakram somewhere highly unpleasant on his anatomy. I mean really 'Located Heartless and eliminated target'? That's all that happened over a span of five hours? Fuck you. Demyx writes better reports than this. _Demyx_." He complained, turning his attention to the report in front of him, and glaring. It was tempting to stab it with his pen, and see how much damage he could do, but that would be counterproductive, so he settled for writing a final note, and flipping over to the next one. Xaldin's mission report, thank fuck. Straight forward, and right to the point. Axel rarely had problems with him, which was good. For his sake.

"Didn't you have to set Demyx on fire just to get him to write reports at all?" Saix said, voice somewhat skeptical, and Axel's mouth twitched upwards at the thought. He'd done a bit more than set him on fire. Sure, Demyx had bitched and moaned about his injuries after, but he was a drama queen. Pain was good for you. Builds character.

Besides, it was relaxing. That fight had been fun as hell.

"I mean… yeah. But now he writes acceptable reports, so it was worth it."

Would have been worth it even if Demyx hadn't gotten it together. …Would have been ESPECIALLY worth it if Demyx hadn't gotten his act together, because then he'd have an excuse for a repeat performance. Oh well.

Maybe Marluxia would be a slow learner.

"Because he's terrified of you." Saix pointed out, voice disapproving. Always the buzzkill, that one.

"Eh. Fear is a good motivator. I fail to see a downside. Yeah, if Marluxia doesn't get his shit together soon, I'm going to give him the Demyx treatment. Make an evening out of it. Might be relaxing, actually." Axel said, a cheerful tone entering his voice. It was always nice to take his stress out on someone else. Whether they deserved wasn't really important, but it was even better if he was taking it out on the cause of the stress. And besides, Nobody's were built tough, the ones who retained human forms even more so. There was a lot you could do a Nobody without causing damage that could interfere with their ability to work.

So, so many things he could do.

Well, Marluxia had gotten two reprimands regarding his reports already. Axel would give the third today, and the next time he inevitably failed to get the message, he would go and teach the new Number XI exactly why Axel was not someone to be fucked with.

He was pulled out of his happy thoughts by Saix speaking again.

"Are you doing anything after work today?" He said, in a less than subtle attempt to change the subject. Still, Saix got weirdly upset about that sort of thing, so he went with it.

"Not really, just paperwork. The usual. Why, you have plans?"

Saix continued to look weirdly upset. Great, what now?

"Axel, you're twenty four today."

…Oh.

Huh.

He needed to stop losing track of the date. Bi-annual vacation days were the best way to keep everyone on task, with the least amount of lost productivity. If he forgot to schedule one, fatigue would cause results to slip.

Oh, and birthday. Saix was probably going to try and be sentimental about that. Ugh. He'd dodged it last year, and hoped Saix would get the point. Apparently not.

"Oh, right. Is that today? Well, I can't celebrate tonight, I'm super behind. We'll do something later, alright? Besides, it's not like the day actually means anything to us." He said, tone dismissive. Hopefully that would be enough to dissuade Saix, and he could always keep blowing him off until he forgot about it. Like last year. Easy.

Saix looked troubled, but didn't try to continue the conversation, and soon left. Axel was able to finish working though the after mission reports from the day before, and sent the rest back to his room with a carefully aimed dark corridor. Wouldn't do to have anyone else reading his reports. There wasn't anything sensitive in those, but it was the principle of the matter.

And then he grabbed his clipboard of missions for the day, took his place at the front of the room, and waited.

Sure enough, the more diligent members were the first to arrive for their missions – Lexaeus, Luxord, Zexion and Xaldin all came and left with their missions before Saix returned. Axel already had the briefing in hand.

"There's a giant Heartless in Twilight Town. If I were you, I'd stock up on blizzard spells before going in, alright? Kick ass and take names. Also, Demyx is going with you. _Don't_ let him slack off." He warned, punctuating the implied threat with a stern look, and a pat on the shoulder. Not that he would actively hurt Saix. That would ruin their alliance, and make things inconvenient for Axel. No, he'd just make life unpleasant for him for a bit if Demyx slacked off, give him a few miserable missions and call it even.

And they said he couldn't be nice.

Saix nodded once, and retreated to one of the couches, carefully reading the brief, and then going over his panels while waiting for Demyx. While he did so, Vexen, Xigbar, and Marluxia also came and went, making Demyx the last one left. Holding up the mission.

Maybe the lesson hadn't quite sunk in.

Axel was considering going to go find him, when Demyx finally thought to come wandering in, flinching under the look Axel gave him. _Good_.

"Hey, you're with Saix today. Giant heartless. Don't fuck it up." He snapped, handing Demyx his copy of the briefing, and increasing his glare. Demyx winced again, and retreated towards the couch.

Saix and Demyx exchanged a few quiet words, and left rapidly. Good.

Axel had his own damn work to do.

He didn't understand why the other members whined about having to do recon. Well, he did understand, as recon was deeply annoying.

But unlike him, they weren't doing recon _every fucking day_. And yet you didn't see Axel bitching about it.

Today he was investigating a world the Organization hadn't reached before, somewhere called Coruscaunt. The day's investigations proved that the place was strongly rooted in the light, due to a group of warriors called 'Jedi' who lived there, and served it. Still, he could sense darkness running underneath, so at the end of the day, the world was marked down as one to watch. In the future it could be useful.

And then he returned to the castle, early enough to be the first one back, and waited for the other members to return.

* * *

 _The summons to meet with Xemnas and Xigbar hadn't mention anything about a promotion, but Lea and Isa had been excited all the same. They knew which way the wind was blowing. Lea had left with confidence, and with Isa waiting in his room to hear all about it._

 _He'd like to say he didn't remember what happened, but he did._

 _He remembered being ordered to remove his coat, and not knowing why as he did so. He remembered being held down, as Xemnas carved into his chest._

 _He remembered screaming, and knowing that it wouldn't be heard, not with how secluded Xemnas's chambers were. He remembered being certain he was dying again, and not knowing where he was, being half certain that he was fifteen with a Heartless tearing him apart, but that couldn't be right, there was nothing in him for the Heartless to take, so why was this happening, where was he-_

 _And then it was done._

 _Lea was released, and dropped to the ground, shuddering breaths forcing their way out of him, and his chest burning with agony, burning like nothing did anymore, as if his own element had somehow turned against him._

 _He hoped it was over._

 _It was not._

 _But after that, thankfully, the memories started to blur._

* * *

The after mission reports were collected relatively quickly, and after a quick glance confirmed no immediate problems, were set aside for the next morning. Axel retired to his room, candles lighting as soon as he entered, and settled at his desk.

There was always work to be done. Budgeting, long term planning, information gathering, potential threats to assess, organizing the castle's defenses, processing reports from the labs, transcribing reports from the lesser Nobodies...

Running an Organization generated considerably more paperwork than anybody assumed.

Saix attempted to bother him around seven with something inane, but Axel quickly lost patience, and had his Assassin's escort him out, with firm orders not to let him back in again that night.

At eleven, when his eyes wouldn't stay open any longer, and every other word was coming out as a typo, he accepted defeat, and changed into his sleep clothes, and collapsed into bed, asleep almost instantly.

* * *

 _something was wrong, something dark and cold seeping into him, settling into the spot where his heart used to be and rooting in there, something wrong and foul and violating and it was in his soul and body and mind and it was consuming him and he was dying but he was not he only wished he were and it was destroying him and he was screaming until his throat was raw until sound could not convey the agony he was in and his screams were reduced to sobs were reduced to whimpers were reduced to nothing_

 _a hand pressed against his face and forced his eyes open. they burned, burned like his chest, and he could not see through the gold consuming his vision_

" _Look. They're changing colour."_

* * *

He woke with a start, clarity hitting him like a hammer to the face. Earlier today, when Saix had visited him. He… he'd said something to him. What had he said? Something awful, but he couldn't remember what, only that it was bad, and that he'd had Saix dragged out. Why had he done that? He shouldn't have done that.

Something was wrong with him. Something was very wrong with him. Why had he ignored Saix? Why had he hurt Demyx? Why did he want to hurt Marluxia? What was going on?

Something was wrong, something was very wrong, and he needed help.

Saix. He needed Saix.

Shaking, he got out of bed, not caring for the time, and went to Saix's room.

As he entered, Saix stirred in his bed, turned to look at his clock, and then dropped his face into his pillow and groaned.

"Saix? I'm sorry. About earlier. I don't know why I said all that." He said, unsure of what exactly he said, but knowing it was something he needed to apologize for.

He wanted to say more beyond that, to share his revelation that something was horribly wrong with him, and he needed help. But his throat closed up, and the words died before he could ever vocalise them, voice refusing to function, mouth refusing to even open.

Saix rolled over, and lifted his blanket up.

"C'mere." He muttered, the invitation clear.

Axel's voice still wouldn't cooperate, and his body would not let him draw attention to that fact.

But he was able to get into the bed, and bury his face in Saix's chest, still shaking. Saix moved the blanket to cover them both, and wrapped an arm around Axel, holding him until he stopped shaking.

Saix fell asleep again almost immediately. It took Axel longer.

* * *

 _He woke up in his own bed, unsure of how long it had been. His eyes hurt. His ears hurt. His chest hurt._

 _...Actually, the pain in his chest was more of a stabbing pain, while his head and eyes were throbbing dully._

 _Looking down proved that his chest had been sliced open, a large X shaped wound that was centered over his heart, the cuts going deep and long. Every time he breathed, stabbing pains went through him._

 _He called up the energy for a cure spell, but the magic wouldn't leave him._

 _Alarm shot through him, and he tried again, attempting a cura with similar non-results. Casting curaga in front of him worked perfectly, but when he tried to get inside the field of healing energy, his body refused to move towards it, locking him in place until the spell faded._

 _Frustrated, he tried to grab a potion, and once more, his hand refused to touch any of them, body rebelling against him._

 _He hurt, and there was something controlling him, and it wouldn't let him heal himself._

 _Well, he knew something of pre-magic first aid, from history classes in school. He knew he didn't want the wound to get infected, and that he needed to clean it with water._

 _The bathroom was empty, and a clock on the wall helpfully informed him it was three in the afternoon. He should have been long gone on a mission. He couldn't bring himself to care._

 _He staggered over to his area, and froze at the sight of him in the mirror._

 _His eyes were a sickly shade of gold, flat and dull, looking inhuman and wrong on him. His ears had changed as well, the top now forming into points, and between his altered features and his chest wound, he looked like someone different had woken up._

 _Like he had died that night, and someone else had gotten up in his body._

 _(and he had, hadn't he? they'd killed Lea, killed whatever was left of him, and now he truly was Axel.)_

 _He ended up retching into his toilet for a while. When it was over, he rinsed his mouth out, made an unmotivated attempt at cleaning his wound (which was more pain but what did it even matter he was dead dead dead and all that was left was for his body to figure it out), and returned to his room, collapsing into bed._

 _Which was how Isa found him, an unknown amount of time later._

 _He had been worried, and then afraid, and then more worried, and demanded answers. Axel had not been able to give them, the words for what had been done to him refusing to form, and eventually he hadn't been able to speak at all, only shake his head and ignore Isa until he went away, and Axel was finally able to pass into a restless sleep._

 _He was awoken by the Superior. He dressed, was taken to a meeting, and announced as Lord Xemnas's new second in command._

 _This was what Lea had been working for, had spent years trying to achieve. This was supposed to be a victory._

 _Axel had not won. Axel had lost, lost something he hadn't even known was at stake._

* * *

He woke up automatically at five, even without his alarm going off. For a moment, he was surprised to find himself in Saix's bed, and then the memories of that night came to his mind.

…Wow.

Where had all of _that_ came from?

Honestly, sleep deprivation made him so whiny.

He carefully got out of bed, and returned to his own room, absently shutting off the alarm as he did so. The words he had been unable to say were already gone from his mind.

There was work to do.

* * *

 **AN: Well, hope you all enjoyed that dose of suffering.**

 **So yeah, things are not great in Axel's head. If you couldn't tell, pretty much all of the disjointed stuff in parenthesis was Axel's real thoughts running underneath the warped, possessed ones. He doesn't remember thinking those things. He also doesn't remember when Xehanort's control needs to step in and full on stop him from doing things (I.E raising the alarm with Saix, stopping his Recusant's Sigil from scarring properly, that sort of thing). His memories get edited afterwards to make it seem like he chose whatever happened, or that he never wanted to say/do things in the first place. Quite bastardy.**

 **So yeah. Poor Axel, am I right?**

 **These are the only two chapters Cold Flame will have. This will instead serve as the prologue/first part of a series, in which all of Days, KH II, DDD, and KH III (provided it is coming out this year and Square Enix isn't just fucking with us) get re-done, via this AU, with a loose role reversal between Saix and Axel. Already working on the first chapter of Days fic, so expect that one soon.**


End file.
